Of course, the therapist's knowledge and skills are crucial to the effectiveness of therapy.  Clients can expect that Dr. Buglione will offer new perspectives on problems and communicate psychological understanding appropriate to the situation at hand.  New perspectives frequently suggest new solutions.  In the case of couples and family problems, for instance, it is typical for participants to focus initially on the behavior of others in the system (e.g., that of one's spouse or child) as the source of all problems.  However, couples and family problems seldom have a simple linear explanation.  Often, spouses or family members get caught in circular patterns of interaction, which act like quicksand to get them more and more stuck.  Once couples or family members begin to see the reciprocal nature of their interactions, however, they can let go of some of the emotion and start to work together on constructive changes.

Chronic or longstanding difficulties in a couple's relationship often stem from unresolved personal issues standing in the way of one or both partner's capacity for emotional intimacy.  When emotional conflicts, pain of loss, or other unresolved psychological issues are at play, a spouse unconsciously may find ways
to avoid genuine closeness and in the process unwittingly reinforce unwanted behavior in the other. 
Often spouses reenact early life relational dramas in ways that cast the other as neglectful and uncaring, if not a villain.  These sorts of projections most definitely can prevent otherwise capable adults from addressing differences in a mature and reasonable manner, and result in circular and entrenched patterns of conflict.

Marital discord is painful enough for the two people directly involved, but when the situation is prolonged or chronic other family members also are adversely affected, especially children.  Maladaptive attempts at coping, such as retreating into work or alcohol, or having an extra-marital affair, usually only cause further damage to the marital relationship and negatively impact the family.  When circumstances such as these result in a referral for treatment, however, an opportunity exists for learning and healing on the part of the entire interconnected family system.

Recent research confirms that our "emotional heritage" deriving from family of origin is a major determining factor in how well we are able to connect emotionally with others.  It is usually helpful, therefore, if each spouse's early family relationships and experiences are discussed and brought to light.  Once partners become more fully aware of the emotional "baggage" they have carried into their marriage, they can begin to see how those issues play out in their relationship.  With couples, therapy really gets going once each spouse begins to appreciate and accept his or her own role in problems.

Of course, many factors can contribute to relational unhappiness, such as conflicting communication styles, communication skill deficits, and external stress. Therapy usually is an opportunity for significant learning, as well as self-understanding.

The foregoing discussion is not to underestimate in any way the amount of stress associated with many life transitions and events.  It  is  normal  for  individuals  and  families  to  experience some symptoms and transient impairment in functioning in the face of many stressful life events.  The fact that an individual or family may be experiencing tensions, conflicts or other problems at such times does not mean they are “dysfunctional.”  But when a situation becomes prolonged or unduly painful, the ability to see solutions clearly can become constricted.  At such times counseling can support the functioning of participants and assist in the discovery of creative solutions. 

                                     COUNSELING & PSYCHOTHERAPY

The therapist-client relationship is the foundation on which the work of counseling or psychotherapy builds.  Studies have shown that therapist qualities such as warmth, ability to empathize, and dedication to the client's welfare contribute significantly to a successful outcome in psychotherapy. The client should feel comfortable in the therapist's care. Therapist and client should be able to work as a team to understand and resolve the client's difficulties.

Stephen A. Buglione, Ph. D. - Clinical Psychologist
Harwood Building, Ste. 421 • 14 Harwood Court • Scarsdale, NY 10583 Tel: 914-725-4226
Email: info@stephenbuglionephd.com

Harwood Building, Ste. 421 • 14 Harwood Court • Scarsdale, NY 10583 Tel: 914-725-4226;   Email: info@stephenbuglionephd.com